Hello World! I Embrace You!: So This Is What Socialites Are Like

Yesterday night I had the most riveting experience of going to see a play based on one of my favorite Jane Austin novels: Emma. For those of you who are not familiar with this novel, it is about a young woman who tries to be a matchmaker and in the process falls in love herself. Oh the classic romantic comedy!

The play was wonderful! I felt like such a socialite; going out for a night on the town:D However, I was surprised to find that other theater patrons were not what I expected at all.

The first I will mention was a particularly distracting man who was entering the theater in front of me. He wasn't distracting because he was loud or annoying, but because his sweater was. In a word, it was obnoxious. In two words, I would sum it up as "Fruit Loops". I felt myself actually getting dizzy from the rainbow throw-up colors and psychedelic pattern. I thought I was going to fall down the stairs as I was descending into the theater. Seriously, my retinas are still recovering.

The next distraction I will mention, was a man sitting next to me during the play. He was somewhat heavy- set and definitely middle aged, and seemed to be having difficulty breathing. At first I felt sorry for him because every so often he would start to cough. However, my compassion didn't last and quickly morphed into distaste. I really wanted to hear this play and felt very annoyed by this man's heavy breathing. He seriously needed to blow his nose or something. Every time there would be a quiet scene in the play I would hear his congested breathing over the actors lines, but felt relieved every time an actor would start singing or the music got louder to cover up this irritating sound. He would make Darth Vader proud.

The final distracting person was nothing compared to the others, but I feel compelled to write about it anyway. There was a man sitting in front of me with what my mom described as a "big pouffy hair style" because he kept getting in her line of sight. Although he was never in my way, there was something else irritating he did. He kept reaching into a bag of peanut m&ms and rattling the wrapper. This is not a movie theater, they do not allow food/beverages inside, so he was trying to eat these very discreetly, but epically failing. It got to a point where I was wondering how long it would take for someone (whether they worked there or not) to come over and tell him to shut up. Thankfully, there were only so many m&ms in that package. Thank you m&m manufacturers for skimping on the number of peanut m&ms in each package!